Day 7 - highs and lows

So I was off to a good start but some over thinking occurred while on the bus coming home. Still a bit fragile and off to dinner with friends which turned into a few tears. I was able to quickly recover though. I think it's important to have a cry every now and again. I feel less tense afterwards :)

Today I'm grateful for friends, family, funny movies and food (mainly a choc top dipped in popcorn!!!)

Day 6 - a good day

Another day gone and it was actually a pretty good one. Started off slow as I was a bit down in the dumps however I forced myself to be positive. It was also nice to come home to two great flatmates. Both very different people but great individuals and I'm pleased to say we have a fun house. Don't misunderstand me, it's definitely not a party house but as far as share houses go its pretty great :)

At my low point today I struggled with the feelings of 'what did I do to deserve this' and 'how did I end up here' and 'will it ever get better'. Logically I know the answers to these questions but it's only natural to try to work out how my behaviour could've changed things.im also aware that my former partner is making plans in his new relationship. I'm not wanting to go back to how things were but how is it possible for someone to move on so quickly? It's like I never existed. Guess its easier when you are the one who has made the decision to move on.

Enough venting and trying to sort through things today. I'm exhausted!

Tomorrow is a new day and I'm thinking of setting a goal for myself. Nothing major but just something small and achievable

Day 4 and 5 - a bump in the road

You know the old saying 'if you dont have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all'...well that sums up my last two days. I was saddened when I had to come home after spending quality time with some of my fave people and the reality of a little Missy's upcoming birthday. Some moments are harder than others and it's hard to accept some changes. I'm getting there and only because I'm trying to keep myself busy. Hence, I didn't write yesterday.

Today has been relaxing and productive. I guess we all need a reminder to get more organized and sort through the clutter in our lives....this weeken I've tackled my computer, deleting music, photos, old docs and other random things to clear space for new stuff! You may think its sad but I'm very proud of this achievement cause I've been procrastinating for weeks...yay me!!

Day three

Its been an awesome few days away from home. Nothing like non stop tennis and reality tv to keep the troubles away. Little things still get to me...baby things, little girls clothes. It's at these moments my mind wanders to what could have been and memories. I'm trying ever so hard to be positive and be grateful for what I do have.

I was lucky enough today to get a visit from a great friend. That made me happy, and was my reality check that I'm so lucky to have wonderful supportive friends!! No need to be sad, time to look forward to things like holidays, my new place, meeting new people. But first a good nights sleep and a yummy breakfast before heading home tomorrow.

Day two = lazy day

What a great day...good food,great company, relaxation, tennis and trashy tv!! Couldn't have asked for a better day! I'm still exhausted (prob a combination of too much food and everything catching up with me).

We celebrated Australia day with lamb on the BBQ, Tim tams, damper and cheese cubes! We even had toothpicks with Aussie flags on them!

The highlight for me was being away from my normal environment, change of scenery, company and (as always) delicious Aussie food :)

Here goes...day one!

I'm off to Sydney as we speak to visit my sister and brother in law. With good intentions to assist my sister recovering from surgery in also secretly looking forward to trashy tv, a block or two of chocolate and some relaxation from my crazy world (which is largely dominated by my over thinking mind!)

Was reminded today of how grateful I am to be in a new job where people are supportive and caring. We still work hard but things are more in perspective on that front. One other upside is that people don't know me!!! I'm excited because it means I can avoid questions about my former relationship and little miss muffets which were inevitably followed by a sigh and a comment like 'you'll find somebody else'. I acknowledge people's good intentions but really the situation sucks enough without everyone I work with knowing my business!

All in all a good day :) topped off with cuddles from my fave 3month old!

Hope you have all your Oz day decorations organized for tomorrow :)

Kick Start

Yep I've been slack in terms of blogging. Guess I've had a lot of down days recently and just couldn't find the effort to blog. But now going to make an effort to blog once a day for 30 days. It dawned on me today amidst the angst of being single I also have some funny stories to share.

So get set for 30 days of stories about my new life will no doubt include funny stories about setting up a house, changing a million light globes, selecting tenants, navigating singledom and a new job!! I can't promise every post will be positive cause as I've said before some people and situations are just stupid and there ain't nothing I can do about that!

Finally a new year

Lets see what 2012 will bring. It didn't start off as planned but I'm in control now and things are going to improve. I'm grateful for all the support in my life but it's a strange feeling starting over again. I feel alone, exposed and lacking in some confidence but I need to stay positive. Despite what some people may think, my life isn't over because I'm not married or don't have children it's just different to what people expect. I'm healthy, have a great job, wonderful friends, property, ambition and kind heart. I'm a good person and I'm worthy of being happy I don't have to settle for second best. This year is going to be wonderful.

Ok, enough of a pep talk for myself...I'm off to bed!