I do belong!!

Sometimes it's the littlest things that make all the difference. So let me share a few things that made me smile in the last few days that made me feel a part of this 'family'

• A big smile when going to get Miss 1 out of bed one morning
• A cute voicemail message
• A lovely message from my partner's mum 
• A little person trying to climb up your legs for a cuddle 
• A big hug at the end of a long and busy weekend with the girls

Just add water!

My friend made a comment today about my instant family and I had this thought about those fake trees that you can get as a kid. You know the ones where you add water and they instantly grow! My little instant family came to be just like that...one minute I am happily dating a wonderful man and then the realisation that he comes with two children. It didn't hit me like a tonne of bricks, it was slower than that which I am pleased about because it allowed me to get used to having three new people in my life instead of one.

Talking about the kids, they returned today and the house is full once again. It's a nice feeling know that everyone is home and happy. My partner has had to work tonight so I looked after the girls. It went really well and both girls were fed, bathed and in bed on time :) It might not sound like a big deal to other mothers but for me it is another win. A chance to get to know the children more and establish boundaries and prove to myself that I can do this. Those small things remind me that I am capable and that I can still be a good parent :)

How it all began...

One of the most common questions I get when I say I live with my partner and his children is "how are old are they". Of course when I say 4 years and 1 years you instantly see people's mind tick over trying to work out how i can be dating a person with a one year old that isn't mine! This amuses me every and I know as Miss 1 gets older it will become less of an issue. To set the record straight, the ex was in the early stages of pregnancy when they separated.

We had been friends for a number of years after working together some time ago. Facebook saw us back in contact over time and at one point after both of our long term relationships ended (at different times) we became better friends. After a time of on and off dating (which was largely unsuccessful because there was way to much going on in our worlds) we eventually 'officially' started dating a few months after Miss 1 was born.

It's been a slow process getting to know the girls and it's incredibly difficult to find your place in a relationship and an established family. What I've learnt is that it takes time and alot of patience. I couldn't have done this without the support of my amazing friends who have assured me they are there to catch me during the difficult times. Let's face it, my partner has his children to look after and that look after him but who is there to look out for me....friends are so important.

It's very quiet....

Today Miss 4 went back to her BM house so we now have five days without the girls. I never like the first night without them because the house is so quiet, it's bizarre. While I would love the girls to be here all the time, I do think we are lucky that we get a few nights a week alone to spend together. I know alot of couples don't have that luxury, for me it's one of the few good things about sharing parenting between parents :(

So we begin....

So this is all very new to me so forgive me while I work out what I am doing! There are a few reasons I want to keep this blog:
1. Track my journey as a 'parent' for my own records;
2. Connect with other people in my situation;
3. Have a place to vent if  needed! and
4. Try something new :)

As someone who is always worried about what people think, this is all a bit scary but I am promising myself that I will be honest.