Who am I?

It's been an interesting few days and Miss 4 is now starting to ask more and more questions. Her questions are random and cover things like why mum and dad aren't married anymore, can she call me mum sometimes, will mum or dad have more babies. Sometimes I am honestly thrown by the questions and sometimes I laugh. At times Miss 4's questions show how complex kids minds are and at times I am amused by her interpretation of events and issues.

Last week I was asked a few times what the children call me......to me I've never considered that I should or would be called 'mum'. Mainly for the simple reason that I am not their mum. I may be like a mum in some of the things that I do but I don't believe that they would ever call me 'mum'. It's funny though some people assume that because of their age they will just call me mum as opposed to my name. In all honesty, I would be extremely honoured one day to be called mum by someone but it's the role I've taken on with these girls. Miss 4 explains to people at times that I am her friend and I love that, if I can be another person in her life to love and support her then I think my job is done. These girls have gone through the separation of their parents and having been through that myself I wouldn't wish it on anyone. So my aim for the next period of time we have them is to remind myself constantly to be the best person and role model I can be. Because at the end of the day, when I look at my mum and those other strong women I considered to be mum like role models they are people that may not always tell me the things that I like but they do this to guide me in the right direction because they love me and know how I think. I am very lucky.

Comfortable

Things seemed to have settled a bit in the past few days. We are in the middle of a two week block of the time with the girls and I think it's allowed us to have more of a routine. The girls have been calm although Miss One is sick (again) poor little thing. Things have also shifted me a little in that I feel more relaxed in my new role. I have no doubt that in the next few days I will be again faced with something else challenging. But in the mean time I am just going to enjoy this peace.

Great Expectations

How the past few weeks have flown....I’ve been house bound for part of the time unwell (which is no fun) and am finally glad to be off to work today!!

The biggest challenge for me in the past week has been managing people’s expectations of me. The responsibilities that come with this family are enormous but some people think that because they aren’t my kids biologically that they aren’t my responsibility. I didn’t go into this half heartedly, when the children are with us, we are a team and my partner and I are both responsible. Don’t get me wrong, I still have plenty of time with my friends (I would go crazy without it) but it’s certainly not like being single and having no children. Unless you are in this situation I think it would be hard to understand how hard it is to adapt to the responsibilities of an instant family. But that is just my view.

We’ve been talking a lot recently about family and how families can be made up of many different people; but at the end of the day as a family we look after each other. So in the typical black and white world of Miss 4 she says we all have one person to look after!! But she did say that she was someone I had to look after along with her mummy and daddy J. That made me feel good about the role I play in her life.

Miss 4 and I had a girls night out last weekend and it was great fun. She needed to be on her best behaviour all day otherwise girls night was not going ahead! It was nice to spend some time alone together and just chat about what’s going on and all sorts of random things. I am amazed at times with her maturity and how well she handles things. However we still have the occasional incident of crying in the middle of the night which makes me question what’s going on in the head of hers.

So the next few days are child free and then we are lucky to have them for a few weeks over Easter. We’ve picked a cake to make for the Easter bunny and will make baskets to go on an Easter Egg hunt! I just hope I’m allowed to participate even though I’m an adult!!  

Taking time for me

I have the house to myself tonight and I am really enjoy the peace and quiet. The girls are away and Mr R is out with his mates so I'm using the time to catch up on a few things (including my blog)!

I find it takes a while to unwind when I get time to myself, so much of my time is crazy busy with work, family, friends etc so it feels bit weird to sit and do nothing. With all my roles it's easy to forget to take time to myself and just relax.

So that's enough from me, I'm making the most of this and going to watch a movie and eat ice cream!

Things are Changing....

We know now that the girls mum's house has been sold and the girls and their mother will be moving. We are not sure where but I am pleased to know that Miss 4 is now more accepting of this. For a few months now she knew the house was going to be sold but she didn't comprehend what this meant. For example, she didn't realise all her stuff was going with them. Our whole little family has gone through alot of change in the past 12months and hopefully this move will be the last major change in a while.

I know that the changes have caused me stress and anxiety so I can't imagine how a 4 year old deals with this. I personally can't wait for things to settle down. This past 12 months has been one of the hardest times in my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm know there are always going to be issues with our family but I wish we could have a few months with nothing major happening so I can catch up!!

Wishful thinking maybe??