Saturday, July 30, 2011

I am grateful

I've just been reading the few blogs I follow that cover off on some of the step parent issues and along with some thinking time earlier this week I figured I need to say something....I am grateful to have a pretty good relationship with the girls mum at the moment. I praise both her and my partner for this and the way they co-parent. Don't get me wrong at times it can be awkward, strained etc but having two parents that can openly communicate about the children makes everything else that much easier. Alot of other blogs I read talk about just awful relationships between parents and step parents. These situations are hard enough without those issues....children do and always must come first.

Answering honestly

So we heard some very sad news this week about the passing of a friends baby. It's been an emotional time and it's hard to get my head around it. The expected things like why does it happen, why my gorgeous friend, how can I help and it puts things in my own life into perspective. Miss 4 overheard us talking about it and asked a few questions about death. Questions maybe in hindsight I shouldve left to my partner. But in the moment I thought it best to answer her questions honestly. I didn't want to scare or upset her and I answered things in an age appropriate way. However Miss 4 did get upset and she was saddened by this news. She later came out and asked about lifecycles, so I think somewhere along the way she's heard about these topics. Im now thinking maybe I shouldn't have said anything but I don't want to make up stories. It's a very sad time and I think it's part of a parents role to educate our children about all sorts of things.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Shut Up!!

Maybe I should remind myself sometimes to just shut my mouth. Doesn't matter that I lived through growing up with separated parents, my opinion doesn't seem to matter sometimes. For example care arrangements inthe next couple if weeks see the girls night about at their two houses. In my opinion this should be avoided to ensure the kids are stable. As an adult I hate being in different places each night (like on some wrk trips) so I'd imagine kids may feel similar. But has anyone asked the kids? Again, as adults we should/try to know what's best. Sometimes I feel that my opinion isn't needed/justified which makes me frustrated more than anything. I too only want what is best for these children.

But time for me to shut up!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Alone time

I'm sure I've said this before but I am always grateful for the few nights a week we have without the girls. While it's never the same and way too quiet we are lucky to have time for each other in amongst the craziness that is our life! Without it I don't think our relationship would be as strong.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Snap out of it

I'm going to be positive today and although I know things aren't perfect I have so much to be grateful. I have an awesome supportive partner who makes me smile every day. I also have two beautiful girls who keep me grounded. At time I can be selfish but their little smiles, cheeky games and unique little personalities remind me that I'm lucky to have them in my life. I learn something new about the girls and myself everyday.

At times I get down when people pass comments on my situation but I have chosen this. Having said that though, there is that saying people shouldn't judge before walking a mile in someone else's shoes.....it's ok that this is hard, life wasn't meant to be easy!!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

This is hard

While today has been a great day I can't shake this feeling at the moment that I'm not a real parent. So the fact is I'm not biologically but I feed them, bath them, cuddle them, put them to bed, look after them, take them on special outings, do activities with them, get up to them in the middle of the night etc. The definition of what/who I am is difficult and always changing. I'm finding it difficult today.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Feeling Inferior

It's a strange position I am in and it's hard to explain. For the most part at home and while the children are with us I am in the role of parent and do all the things that come with that. But happens at times when we are out with the children's mother? I know I'm probably overthinking it but it's at those times that I feel inferior and reminded that I'm not a real parent. I know I'm not a biological parentbut I find it hard to switch between roles when their mother is present. I'm sure as I get more confident in this role it will be easier. I should also say that things with their mother are pretty good at the moment. Communication is improving and I think there is more acceptance of the whole situation and all it's complexities.