Self Esteem

I saw this, this morning and while it confirmed what I already knew about liposuction (having experienced it) it serves as a good reminder about our self esteem.

(maybe avoid reading this while you are eating!)

http://www.dailylife.com.au/life-and-love/real-life/i-watched-my-own-plastic-surgery-20121218-2bkap.html

Happy times ahead

I can’t recall a Christmas day that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed for a very long time. Having separated parents often left me feeling like although I was with one parent, I was missing the other one and often feeling guilty that I couldn’t be in two places at once. I know that I have enjoyed parts of Christmas days gone by but my overwhelming feeling about the day isn’t great.

Despite that, I love the lead up to Christmas, the lights, parties, catching up with family and friends, decorating a tree and advent calendars. I am lucky to be in a good place this year and am hopeful that the Christmas period will be fun and filled with happy memories.

Me, myself and I

So things are starting to sink in a bit....I don’t cope well with change and I have needed some time to myself to come to terms with all the change in my life. I am getting used to it all and learning to adapt to living with someone again.

I find that it’s been hard in the last 12 months to trust again, let someone into my life and relax into a new relationship. I think back to times when I was much more carefree and able to be optimistic about everything. I do realise that this is all a part of growing up, changing and learning from things but it upsets me that our innocence is lost and cannot be restored. I remember back to times living with two little girls and think about how wild their imaginations where, how the simplest item could amuse them for hours and a story or a hug was enough calm them down and settle them. If only it was that easy as an adult.

During the difficult times, I’ve learnt to rely on myself and my friends and turn to them when I need help or support. Largely though, through self preservation I’ve relied only on myself. I figured that way I was less likely to end up getting hurt because I could control things.

Whirlwind

So a lot has changed in a very short space of  time.......

• I turned 30
• I enjoyed 10 amazing days in Thailand
• My ex returned (without the children)
• My boyfriend moved into my place
• I went back to work after holidays
• I was proposed to and said yes....so I'm getting married!

See.....a lot of things! I feel emotionally drained but also excited about the future.