Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Me, myself and I

So things are starting to sink in a bit....I don’t cope well with change and I have needed some time to myself to come to terms with all the change in my life. I am getting used to it all and learning to adapt to living with someone again.

I find that it’s been hard in the last 12 months to trust again, let someone into my life and relax into a new relationship. I think back to times when I was much more carefree and able to be optimistic about everything. I do realise that this is all a part of growing up, changing and learning from things but it upsets me that our innocence is lost and cannot be restored. I remember back to times living with two little girls and think about how wild their imaginations where, how the simplest item could amuse them for hours and a story or a hug was enough calm them down and settle them. If only it was that easy as an adult.

During the difficult times, I’ve learnt to rely on myself and my friends and turn to them when I need help or support. Largely though, through self preservation I’ve relied only on myself. I figured that way I was less likely to end up getting hurt because I could control things.

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